1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I am naked and annoyed.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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