I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
She is just sitting by the bathroom like a little puppy waiting for a knight in shining armor to take her in there to fuck her. New low?
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
