Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
Randomize
