Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
