Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
No matter what I do you still love me. It's like loving a retarded kid. A retarded kid that keeps trying to sleep with you.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
