Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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