He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
ever seen your mom drunk enough to lick your face? i have
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
