you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
If I die write a nice eulogy and bury me with my star wars bobbleheads
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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