no, he came in my armpit
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize