So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Between my vag yelling at me for having bad sex and my legs yelling at me for going to the gym I cant hear myself think.
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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