I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Jungle juice breakfast? No? Ok.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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