Call me when you're up
Great dream, you were in it
ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
i dont think the girl sending me nudes is qualified to pass judgement on me
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I have a bottle of vodka wrapped in a leg warmer in my purse. This is what it takes to get through Christmas with my family.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize
