Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
Just laying in bed with my vibrator eating cold tortillas and listening to Savage Garden.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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