i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
FUCK YEAH PUPPY BOWL
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