U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
