everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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