Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I had a dream that I got a gift certificate to a lavish spa from my father. I think dream dad, along with real dad, think I'm gay.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I tried to lock you in the bathroom stall because you were too drunk. But you escaped from underneath, I gave up
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
On her way to bed she said, "If you have sex on the couch, just move my blanket" Needles to say, we moved the blanket
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
Then you guys just all showered together...?
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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