Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
Randomize
