I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
These Are 23 Of The Most Uncomfortable Questions You Can Ask
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
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Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!