Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by "Are you drunk?" you mean "Did you just faceplant in the checkout line at Target?" the answer is yes.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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