Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
23 Theme Park Employees Confess The Biggest Adult Tantrums They’ve Witnessed
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
if youre gonna throw up it might as well taste like christmas :S
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.