Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I think my vagina is haunted
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Justin Timberlake, while dressed as Britney Spears. Fuck Jessica Biel, all my 90's dreams are coming true.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
Randomize
