You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I am wearing two different shoes and just swallowed my gum. Wake the fuck up and bang the bartender already.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Blame the bisexuality and move on?