We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i think she is mad at you for trying to take a shit in the back seat of her car
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
