My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
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