Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize
