the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
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