So I had sex with him again. He's still got it. Not chlamydia, he got rid of that.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I hope I take a shit on your face in your dreams tonight.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
