Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go christen that room with your naked body.
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
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