On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
I still think it's strange your mom saw me 93% naked with a Santa hat on and a raging boner. Tis the season right?
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
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