yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize