as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Awkward medical moment of the day: A very obese girl with a disorder that literally makes her hit herself punched herself in the face. Literally. While screaming 'MCDONALDS MONEY'. Right. Beside. Me.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
