so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
My mom just called me to tell me that i dont have chlamydia. Awkward.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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