Midget sex pt 2 tonight
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
