): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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