we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
Sorry about my life...
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
