This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
She gave me a rubber ducky to make me feel better while I was throwing up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you haven't seen a huge black man in tiny red snowflake shorts that barely cover his dick, then you don't know what I'm going through.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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