just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
On my way home I saw a car that had "MOVE OVER PLZ" emblazoned across the windshield backwards, so people could see it in their rearview mirror
If I ever drive for Lyft or Uber I'm definitely gonna do that
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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