I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I barfed on the cat last night. Just wanted to share.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
