I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just peed on my shirt somehow, im calling it a day
"I made out with someone too, but then he tried to fuck and I played dead"
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
There should be a guide book that probation officers hand out on "how to tell a tinder girl about your ankle monitor before she notices it at the worst possible moment"
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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