my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
So apparently I’m into choking now
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize