I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
Randomize
