when you find your car can you pick me up? his mom is here and im hungover
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were asking her how her mother would feel if y'all dated, etc. And I was yelling at you your girlfriends name over and over again in between gags and sobs.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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