Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
