pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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