now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
When the dude you brought home from the bar on Thanksgiving leaves before you wake up ... #thankful
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
