Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
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