you woke up, pulled a beer bottle out of your pants..took a drink and went back to sleep.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Semen is not good for contacts.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Randomize
