Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
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