Smoked a bowl on a rollercoaster. Literally ON. Beat that.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I think tonight's gonna be the night I wear a go pro while trippin on acid
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
