I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
Randomize
