These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just bought us acid. I'm like the drug tooth fairy. Get ready to wake up with a sweattart of acid under your pillow.
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
as i was trying not to drunkingly fall off her toliet, i noticed her socks laying there. i quickly grabbed them, ran upstairs, and excitingly asked her if she had gotten them at sams club. she replied with, "...those are your socks."
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