You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
That's a lot of people she's fucked in one picture.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
