So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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