he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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