singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
When I get off work and you're not around to hang out with all I do is lay around in my underwear and eat potatoes.
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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