saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
As long as it's before midnight it's cool. But it would be understandable to ring in my new year shitting myself just before I go to Iraq.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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