dude I went to cubs game with my mustache, aviators, and a hooded sweatshirt. Do you think it was irony or fate that there were four 17 year old girls in front of us?
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I was running because his wife invited me to join them on their kinky Vegas weekend. Crossing state lines is too much commitment for me.
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