remember when jerking off was fun and not a neccesity
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
Just remember, Dont make worse choices than american flag pants to your own birthday party
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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