So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
her orgasm sounded like a fucking walrus crying.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Randomize
