Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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