i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
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