The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Ikeep having to ask jim if I'm actually talking. I canmt feel my body...this is what Christmas is all about
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize