I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
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