I left the party when things started to get crazy... and when I say crazy I mean: there was puke on the carpet, Evan was passed out behind a plant, Mary was making out with her ex while her present bf was making out with Nancy. Not to mention that someone fisted the wall. Also - someone is sleeping on your lawn - they might be dead, I didn't check. Later.
worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Love these next 4 months. Wake up from a college football hangover and get to put your hand down your pants and watch NFL football all day.
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Don’t get me wrong—I love silver and bracelets—but handcuffs are not a good look on me…
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