yea..i want to get out of new york for a bit too but for the love of god not to new jersey. that's like getting tired of the stripclub and getting yourself a toothless prostitute.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
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