New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
