my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
if elf comes on TV one more time i swear to god i will smash my brains out with this fruitcake
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
Randomize
